Balance in relationships or connections with others, can only occur when there is an equanimous exchange of energy expelled by both parties in the unified field of the relationship or connection.
If one person is generating more in the relationship/connection than the other, it compromises the value of the exchange within their relating, therefore throwing it out of alignment. This can be challenging as the original precedence set for their relating may have been a high investment from both initially which created that unified field of connection and consciousness. If that initial transaction of equanimous balanced energy is affected by one party withdrawing their amounts of contribution to their relationship/connection, it will be felt in the overall co- created energy of what their relationship/connection form has taken. This means that if one is still investing at the same original amount of energy as set initially and the other is not, then exchange becomes distorted, as this affects the overall free flow of giving and receiving. What this can do is place one party as the over-functioning, driving force, whom is attempting to maintain the original invested transactional amount of energy exchange that had formed the foundation of their relationship/connection. The one party that is not investing as much as they were originally would only do so if there is a change in the original value placed upon their original investment of energy in the relationship/connection. A change in their perceived value can either be short term, long term or permanent. Many factors can influence a person to change. This will then create in the other party, who is investing more in their relationship/connection, to attempt to demonstrate, show, remind, badger or influence the other to remember the original value, form and relating created when the exchange was balanced and equanimous. Unfortunately, all this will do is confirm the other party's (whom is the under investor) decision to maintain their withdrawal of investment into the relationship/connection.
So How Does This Shift To Balance Again?
The first thing is understanding that there is always a motivator in energy exchanges. It will predominantly be either love or fear.
Fear can make a person withdraw their original value in the initial unified exchange. In the same time, fear also motivates a person to over-function. The other motivator is loss. We are motivated to prevent loss in any way, shape or form. We also look to prevent loss because there is also a gain attached to it, what we may or may not get from the connection/relationship.
Any feelings associated with the risk of loss or losing will create a value change. Therefore, in the original unified field of balanced equanimous exchange, the original value of the connection/relationship has shifted from love, infinity, connection, joy and freedom, to feeling the fear and risk of potential loss.
So this dynamic of one party over investing and the other party under-investing, can only be created when the VALUE of fear of loss is present in BOTH and becomes the driving value in the exchange between the two.
The only thing that is keeping one party over investing is that they have a greater value placed upon it at this point in time than the other party.
Why?
Because they have attached their own "self" value to the current value of the exchange. Therefore the value that has been withdrawn from the connection/relationship, is a representation of the value that the over-investor has withdrawn from investing in themselves.
They have set it up in themselves and in the relationship/connection that any dip in energy, or lack of balanced exchange means that if they don't catch the energy dip before it falls, the other party won't. In their consciousness, not doing so could result in both parties no longer investing in the transaction between them, running the risk of a significant loss...
The one party that has withdrawn their original energetic investment will do so in the way that communicates to themselves a way of minimising the overall value that they had originally placed upon the relationship/connection. Meaning, if one party is attaching their own "self" value on the relationship/connection and valuing the relationship/connection more than the other party, then the under-investor will polarise the experience through detaching from holding or showing value for the relationship/connection and place it upon valuing self. They will personify themselves in the communication in a magnified way. So where the other will associate it with their own DE-value the other will associate it with their own RE-value.
So Why Is This Happening?
Each party is attempting to create a safer precedence as to which the relationship/connection can exist and function in, however, they are attempting to cram those safety mechanisms into their original, co-created, relationship/connection consciousness that the two formed.
In the original balanced, equanimous, transaction of investment from both parties, they were only focusing on their relating. Then it became about what to do with the information that was shared in this relating experience. It became about how is this relationship/connection going to be expressed. Meaning, what will it manifest into. It is this then that puts the sorting process of the linear, problem solving mind in place and moves out of heart based relating.
How Do The Energies Stabilise And Balance Again?
To stop this in its tracks, the first thing that needs to happen is the over- investor/over- functioning person, must stop over-investing. They need to allow the dip of energies to spiral its full course by not reaching in and being the one to catch it first. By not being the one to always "catch it before it falls", will allow the Under-Investor to feel the dip also. They can also feel it in the etheric connection (energy link) that the Over-Investor is no longer reaching in, allowing the Under-Investor the opportunity to show their authentic value for the relationship/connection. This gives the relationship/connection the space to evolve.
The Over-Investor begins to shift their value energy to themselves and remembering what they have to offer as a person. This then shifts the energy they expel to a place of offering rather than having to take, need or get something from the relationship/connection.
When the person who is undervaluing themselves is overvaluing the relationship/connection by over investing and over functioning, they automatically shift their self worth and communicate energetically from "depletion" (what am I not getting from you that I want) instead of coming from a space of "offering" (I value myself and what I have to offer is valuable) allowing space for the other to naturally feel magnetised towards them, connecting with the original value of the relationship/connection.
Offering is not fear based and is part of creating a natural feeling of safety. When we try to get something out of someone, it automatically puts them into a defence mode.
When you give the opportunity to the other person to move in and re-invest, guess what it does? It provides the opportunity of "offering energy" from them towards you. It can also have them discern whether they want to RE-Invest the full value into the connection/relationship, leave it as it is, or make a transactional withdrawal completely to end the relationship/connection.
Offering of self is what creates a balanced unified field of connection, love and harmony in relationships/connections. When we aren't getting something we want, check in with your own self-worth or value. What is making you feel depleted? What is the signal of a person's withdrawal of energy telling you? What are you fearing? What are you risking to lose in this?
When we re-ignite ourselves with the value of the relationship/connection, the equanimous exchange and investment of energies re-balance back into the co-created consciousness again in a more evolved way should both parties permit. The value becomes more about what the other can offer to add to their world and reality, to how they can open up to new possibilities and experiences of love and connection in a safe way and see where the journey can take them.
When we offer, we open ourselves to receive more than we ever thought we could conceive or imagine.
Aliki Nektaria
The Path Clearer